


The Cat

by AshsHorrorShow



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Cats, Domestic, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Minor Injuries, Pets, Snark, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 21:37:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14756762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshsHorrorShow/pseuds/AshsHorrorShow
Summary: The moment Edward spotted that injured cat in the alleyway with Selina, he knew he was going to have to get used to a new "friend."





	The Cat

“Selina, no.” Edward warned, already seeing the potential danger of the situation. 

Selina and him had just come out of a restaurant together, having gone on a nice dinner date. Everything had been going good. The meal had been delicious, the conversation between them light and friendly, and so far, no costumed person - hero or villain- had been around their general area to cause trouble. The night had borderline been perfect, until the two of them heard a pitiful mewing sound coming from the alleyway next to the restaurant. When they had investigated, they found an injured cat, which Selina had immediately rushed over to. 

“Oh, come on, Eddie!” Selina pleaded. Gently, she tilted the ginger-and-white cat’s head up so Edward could see its tired eyes. “He’s hurt. We can’t just leave him!” She cuddled the cat closer to her chest, as she got up from her crouched position, lifting it up with her. The cat’s tail gave a swish at being lifted, but otherwise, it did not protest or fight like most stray cats would’ve. Maybe it was too hurt to do so. The gash on its side certainly was nasty-looking. It looked as if someone might have stabbed it. Given how bored and cruel Gothamites could be, he would not be surprised if that was the case.

Edward could already sense that he was losing this battle, but he was going to try anyway. He had always admired how strong-willed and in-control Selina was. She never seemed to lose her cool at any moment and unlike many other rogues, was willing to be practical. However, that all fell away when she was in front of a cat. Then suddenly, it was like dealing with a completely different person. 

“Then we can take it to an animal shelter and _they_ can take care of it,” Edward replied, “There is one just nearby. We can head there and-”

“So they can cram him in with all the others, only for him to be there, locked in a cage forever until they finally decide to put him down,” Selina said, bitterly, clutching the cat tighter at the idea. “The shelters are already over capacity.”

“I know,” Edward said pathetically, already sensing his defeat on this argument, “But Selina, you already own three cats-”

“I am not going to keep this guy, if he doesn’t want to be kept,” Selina replied curtly. “I am just taking him in for now to-”

“That’s what you said about Irene, Jacques, and Oscar!” Edward interjected, rather loudly. He noticed this garnered them a stare from a random passerby and he quickly quietened down. 

If Selina was bothered by his raised voice, she certainly didn’t show it. Instead, she just curtly said, “Well, this one will be different.”

‘ _Yeah, right…_ ’ Edward thought moodily, but he gave up, just accepting the fact that he was going to have to get used to this new tom cat now. 

He supposed he should be grateful that Selina only had three - now _four_ , cats, given how much her heart bled for them and how high the stray cat population in Gotham was. All three of her cats had been strays who’d she fallen in love with, all of them coming from unfortunate places.

He understood where her compassion towards these creatures came from. He knew she related to them in a sense, as she was once homeless and mistreated herself. She felt the need to save them. But as benevolent as her motivations were, he was constantly worried that one day, he was going to go into Selina’s apartment and find twenty cats populating the place. She already fed a whole clan of strays every morning. Every time she did that, he braced himself to having to learn her new pet’s name. 

Edward himself wasn’t opposed to cats. In fact, as far as animals went, they were probably one of his favorites. They were smart, clever, quiet, and didn’t constantly beg for attention like a dog did, and even he had to admit, he found them rather cute. However, just because he held an appreciation for them, didn’t mean he necessarily liked to be around them all the time. After all, while cats were all of those things… they also did a lot of annoying things as well. He practically had to bring a survival kit for whenever he had to spend the night at Selina’s place. 

A lint roller, as cats had a tendency to shed, _a lot_ and Selina’s cat, Oscar, especially seemed to have an affinity for sleeping on his suits at night, brushing up against him whenever he could, and laying down on top of him whenever he was sitting at her place. Bandages, just in case he accidentally invaded Irene’s personal space and she decided to scratch the shit out of him. And the knowledge to make any items he happened to bring over from his apartment look as uninteresting as possible, as her cats had a tendency to knock anything on a surface to the floor. 

He had been toying with the idea of having Selina move in with him. His apartment was much bigger than hers, it had all of his things, it was in a much better neighborhood, and he would get to be around Selina a whole lot more. However, he had to admit, the cats had been hindering his desire a bit. He had a lot of items in his place he would like not broken. He would also have to sweep every single day with them around.

He had already been conflicted when she had three, but now she was adding a fourth one. Great.

He wisely kept his comments to himself, though. 

When they arrived at Selina’s apartment, she immediately got to work. He decided to help her out. He may not want the cat around, but he didn’t want it to die or anything. Together, they cleaned and dressed the wound and Selina pushed two bowls- one with food, another with water - in front of the sleepy-looking creature. Irene, Oscar, and Jacques eyed the new guest curiously, but kept their distance. He was sure as soon as him and Selina retired though, they would be all over the tom, sniffing and hissing at him.

Selina smiled at their handiwork and said, “He should be up and about within a day or two! Luckily his wound wasn’t as bad as it looked. We’ll take him to the vet tomorrow.”

Edward simply nodded his assent, not wanting to argue. He had nothing to do that day anyway.

Selina looked at the cat for a moment, before she said, “He kind of looks like you actually, Eddie.” 

Edward immediately took offense at that comment, saying with a demanding tone, “And what exactly is _that_ supposed to mean?” He looked nothing like a flea-ridden stray, thank you very much! 

Selina giggled at the expression on his face. Scratching the cat gently behind his ears, she said, “Cause he’s got the green eyes and ginger fur.” When he still didn’t look convinced, she said, “And his eyes look smart?”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Selina,” Edward said, even though he secretly was pleased by the comment.

“I disagree. I say it got me pretty far with you,” Selina purred teasingly, padding over to press her chest against his and kiss him on the cheek. Edward felt himself flush a little, despite himself.

He was about to make this moment a little more lewd, when all of a sudden a loud hiss rang out. Both of them looked over, and saw Irene, the meanest of Selina’s cats, in Edward’s opinion, hissing at the new guest, her black fur fluffed up, ears flat. 

“Irene!” Selina scolded and she took a step forward, causing Irene to immediately hop off the countertop and to go hide somewhere. Sighing, Selina said, “Someone’s probably going to have to spend the night in here. I don’t want the cats to mess with him at the moment.”

“I’ll do it,” he said immediately, before he could really think about it. 

“You will?” Selina said, in surprise. 

‘ _Yeah, I will_?” his mind questioned himself. Why did he say that? Oh well, he already said he would, it would be uncouth to back out now. So sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and said, “Yeah, I will. Now that you got him, I might as well just start getting used to his presence.” 

Selina opened her mouth to protest at his last comment, but seemed to think about it before saying, “You don’t have to. I mean, I was the one who insisted we take him back.”

Edward waved his hand, “You were planning on going out tonight as the Catwoman anyway, right?” She had been going out less and less as her costumed persona, but occasionally, she seemed to feel urges and she would go out - to help, to cause trouble, it kind of just depended on her mood. 

Selina smiled at him and crooned, “Aw, Eddie, baby, you’re so sweet.”

Admittedly, seeing how happy she looked made him feel like he was doing the right thing. 

Not that he would admit that though.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Edward said, rolling his eyes, “Don’t make me regret it. Also, don’t get caught by the Batman. I don’t want to have to take the cat to the vet by myself.”

This time, it was Selina rolling her eyes, “Oh please, come on, Eddie, have a little faith in me, won’t you?” 

Edward smiled at her, “Don’t worry, I always do, dear.”

“Good,” Selina said. She began heading over to her closet, no doubt to put on her costume so she could slip out her window. “Don’t worry, I’ll repay you. I’ll make sure to bring you back something nice.”

Trouble. That was what Selina was going to look for that night.

“That’s nice to hear. If you need any hints, my favorite color is green.” 

“Never would’ve guessed that in a million years.”

\-------

Why had Edward agreed to this again? 

It was currently 3 a.m. and he had to get up for the fourth time tonight to check on the cat, figuring he would do it hour by the hour. Part of him considered not sleeping at all and just watching over the cat, but he knew if he got himself absorbed in a task, he would not want to leave, alarm be damned. Selina was still not back from her nightly romp, but that was not too unusual seeing as some days she would calm back at the crack of dawn. He had to admit, he was somewhat curious what she was doing at the moment, but figured she would chatter to him about it when she was showing off her bounty to him.

He sleepily padded over to the cat. He almost wished the other cats would start shit with the cat, just so he could have a reason to wake up. Overall, it had been uneventful. Oscar and Jacques had been sitting on the counter next to him once, but they weren’t doing anything but sitting and as soon as they approached, they had hopped off, finding more interest in rubbing up against him then they did with the cat. The cat had been sleeping through every visit he made. He would check to see if the bandages were still holding up, that the cat was still breathing, and make sure none of the other three cats were hanging around before he would sleepily amble back to the couch, set a new alarm on his phone, and drift off into another short drift of sleep. 

He didn’t know what he found worse about this whole thing. The fact that his beauty sleep was being ruined for what felt like a pointless procedure at this point or the fact that Selina’s uncomfortable, lumpy couch was absolutely killing his spine. 

All he could say was that he was hoping that the security at wherever Selina was breaking into wasn’t too tight, so she could hurry home. Hopefully with no more injured cats.

He resisted the urge to moan petulantly when his loud alarm rang out. Reaching out, he turned the obnoxious sound off and then walked over to the cat, who surprisingly was awake this time, though it still looked sleepy. He wondered if his alarm had managed to wake it up this time. 

He quickly checked everything, the cat watching him calmly the whole time, the white tip of his tail twitching back and forth slowly. He was relieved that this cat seemed friendly to humans. Irene, he swore, was still a feral cat. She attacked him any chance she got. The only human he’d seen her act friendly around was Selina. This one seemed calmed and relaxed, but not overly-affectionate like Oscar was or completely lacking a personality like Jacques. 

He was pretty cute too. He had a nice dark red coat, with patches of white on his tail tip, belly, chest, nose and feet. He had large green eyes that lit up eerily in the moonlight, and besides the gash on his side, which would no doubt leave a scar, the tom didn’t look as beat up or haggard as some of the other stray cats Edward had seen running around the streets of Gotham. Edward still thoroughly disagreed that this cat looked anything like him, besides sharing a similar hair and eye color, but he had to admit, he was pretty cute. 

When the tom leaned over and licked his hand, he actually smiled and scratched the cat behind his ears, listening to him purr, his eyes slitting in pleasure. He let the cat rub his head against his hand before he pulled away, intending to go back to the Spine Killer couch, when suddenly, he felt something hook into the fabric of his shirt and pull at him.

At first he panicked a moment, wondering if Irene had somehow managed to hide and grab him. She did have pure black fur, after all. She could easily hide in the many shadows of the apartment at night, Edward at even more of a disadvantage seeing as he wasn’t wearing his glasses or any contacts at the moment. But he saw that the arm that the paw was attached to was to bright to be Irene’s. It was a whole lot less vicious too. 

The injured cat blinked at him sleepily and let out a demanding meow. 

Throwing it a somewhat annoyed look, he said, “What? What are you crying about? I already pet you. Go to sleep.”

But the cat continued to prod and tug at him, meowing insistently. Thinking it wanted to be pet more, he sighed and went back to stroking its back and its head, listening to it purr, muttering, “Fine, you win. Just be quiet.”

He continued this for a few more moments, before he stopped, “Okay, I got to go to bed for real now. You’re cutting into what little sleep I am getting, Cat.” 

The cat just continued to mrow his protest at the idea, insistently rubbing against Edward’s chest. Eventually, Edward decided to be the mean person and quickly strode away to try and make it to the couch before the cat could grab at him again.

However, when he heard a soft thump hit the floor, he whirled around and nearly had a panic attack when saw the cat padding over to him. That cat should not be walking around at the moment. Selina would kill him. Quickly padding back over, he scooped the cat up in his arms and looked at the thing, who cuddled against his chest immediately. He glanced at the bandages and was relieved to see no blood seeping through. Good, so the wound hadn’t reopened. 

“You’re annoying, you do know that, right?” Edward said in an accusatory voice. The cat just purred in response.

Part of him considered trying to put it on the cat bed on the counter again, but he didn’t want to risk it hopping after him again and opening the wound. For some reason, it seemed to have developed an affinity towards him.

Ha, and Selina insisted that animals sensed how people truly felt about them. Right. 

He thought for another moment or two about what to do, when finally, an idea came to him. 

He padded over to the couch and proceeded to lie back down in as comfortable position as he could, placing the cat gently on his chest. The cat thankfully, did not move from the spot, looking content. He figured this worked. He could then wake up and check on the cat without having to move too much, and he would feel if one of the other cats tried messing with him, seeing as he would be able to feel another creature jumping on top of his body. 

He sighed as he once again set the alarm and slipped back into sleep.

The things he did for Selina, he swore. 

\---------

Edward awoke to a feminine voice, cooing, “I wish I had a camera cause this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Edward blearily opened his eyes and was greeted by the scene of Selina’s face leaned rather close, a large smile on her face. He felt the warm spot on his chest where the cat, now awake, was still lying, its green eyes watching Selina with interest. 

“Mmm, hello, ‘Lina,” he mumbled sleepily, wiping his hand across his face to wake himself up more. He was definitely going to bed early tonight. In his own, cat-free apartment. 

“And you claimed you didn’t care,” Selina crooned, patting his cheek soothingly. 

Edward sat up a bit, being careful to move the cat as he did so, as he gave Selina an annoyed look, “Yes. Of course I care about being castrated… which you would’ve done to me if I had let this cat suffer in the dark.”

“Mm, you’re right about that,” Selina agreed, “But I am still not fully buying this fake unfeeling act you’re trying. You aren’t an actor, Eddie.”

“Whatever you say, 'Lina,” Edward said, which is what he always said to her whenever he couldn’t think of anything witty to say in response.

“Whatever you say, Eddie,” Selina shot back with a grin, showing she knew she won that little verbal spar. Rummaging through her bag, she said, “Here.” and then tossed an emerald the size of a baseball at him. He flinched and fumbled it, the stone falling heavily on the ground with a thud. 

“Wouldn’t of hurt you to warn me,” Edward said.

“You’re welcome,” Selina said, with a satisfied smirk, amusement dancing in her dark eyes. She liked seeing how bad at catch he was. 

As he was inspecting the emerald with amazement (where the hell did she even get this?), Selina’s attention turned to the cat. “I got to take this guy to the vet, and give him a name, while I am at it.”

“Oh, what happened to not keeping hi-”

“Oh, shut up, Eddie,” Selina hissed, waving a dismissive hand at him. “You knew I wasn’t being serious when I said that. Now let me think…”

She tapped her chin thoughtfully for a moment, before she said, “His name will be Eddie.”

“Absolutely not," Edward said, leaving no room for argument in his voice. 

“Fine. Then we’ll just go with Henry.” 

Henry it was, then.

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually super fun to write. 
> 
> I really like RiddleCat. It's a cute ship. Criminally underrated. I also really love cats and I adore the fact Selina owns quite a few in a lot of iterations. Like, yaaas, relatable. 
> 
> Also boring title is boring. Feel free to suggest a better one cause Yikes. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> As always, critique is wanted, and if you see a mistake, feel free to point it out so I can fix.


End file.
